Workplace Mental Harassment: How to Identify, Address, and Overcome It

When we talk about workplace harassment, the focus is often on physical harassment. However, mental harassment is equally damaging, yet often goes unnoticed. Unlike physical harassment, which leaves visible proof, mental harassment is subtle, making it difficult to identify or prove.

Many employees experience constant stress, self-doubt, and a sense of worthlessness, but they struggle to pinpoint the cause. The harasser—whether a boss or a colleague—often manipulates the situation so skillfully that the victim feels inadequate rather than recognizing the harassment. Instead of direct mistreatment, it may come in the form of unrealistic expectations, excessive criticism, exclusion, or gaslighting, all disguised as professional “feedback” or “constructive improvement.”

Because there’s no clear evidence—no harsh words in writing or physical actions—it becomes challenging to confront or report. The harasser ensures their actions seem justifiable, making the victim question their own abilities rather than recognizing the psychological harm being inflicted.

Let us explain with an example of Mr. Xu and Mr. Yu

Mr. Xu is a hardworking and dedicated employee at his company. He always meets deadlines, takes initiative, and contributes positively to his team. However, his manager, Mr. Yu, has a habit of subtly undermining him.

The Subtle Harassment Begins

At first, Mr. Y’s behaviour seems normal—he gives feedback on Mr. Xu’s work, pointing out areas for improvement. But over time, the feedback becomes excessive and unfairly critical. No matter how well Mr. X performs, Mr. Y always finds something negative to say.

• If Mr. Xu submits a report early, Mr. Yu dismisses it, saying, “You rushed through it. This is not up to the mark.”
• If Mr. X takes time to perfect his work, Mr. Y comments, “You are too slow. Why can’t you be more efficient?”
• In meetings, Mr. Yu ignores Mr. Xu’s contributions or publicly criticizes him, making him feel incompetent.
• Mr. Yu told Mr. Xu that he is saving his job otherwise management is not happy with his performance.

Isolation and Gaslighting

Slowly, Mr. Xu starts losing confidence. He notices that

• Mr. Yu:Leaves him out of important meetings.

• Assigns him unrealistic workloads and tight deadlines, then blames him when he struggles.

• Takes credit for his ideas while making him feel like he isn’t contributing enough.

• Subtly spreads negativity about him, making colleagues doubt his abilities.

• Tells him things like, “Maybe this job isn’t for you,” making him question his own skills.

When Mr. Xu finally gathers the courage to confront Mr. Yu, the response is, “I’m just trying to help you improve. If you can’t handle feedback, maybe you’re not fit for this role.” This is a classic example of gaslighting, where the harasser makes the victim doubt their own reality.

The Impact on Mr. Xu

Over time, Mr. Xu starts feeling:

• Stressed, anxious, and emotionally drained.

• Doubtful of his own abilities.

• Isolated from his team.

• Afraid to speak up, fearing further criticism or job loss.

Since Mr. Yu never openly abuses or threatens him, Mr. Xu has no solid proof of harassment. The harassment is so well-disguised that if he complains, Mr. Yu can easily say, “I was just giving feedback.”

Now Firstly we have to understand that why Mr. Yu is doing this

The reasons behind Mr. Yu’s behavior can vary depending on his personality, insecurities, and work culture. Here are some possible motivations for why a boss or colleague might mentally harass someone like Mr. Xu

1. Insecurity and Jealousy

Mr. Yu may feel threatened by Mr. Xu’s skills, talent, or popularity in the workplace. Instead of appreciating or mentoring him, Mr. Yu tries to sabotage Mr. Xu’s confidence. For example: If Mr. Xu is innovative and receives praise from senior management, Mr. Yu may feel insecure and undermine him to retain power and control.

2. Power and Control

Some managers or colleagues enjoy exerting dominance over others. By keeping Mr. Xu underconfident and doubtful, Mr. Yu ensures that he remains submissive and does not challenge authority. For Example: By constantly criticizing Mr. Xu, Mr. Yu makes sure that he remains dependent on approval and never questions decisions.

3. Toxic Work Culture

If the company has a toxic culture, harassment may be considered normal or acceptable. Mr. Yu may have experienced the same treatment from his seniors and now continues the cycle. For Example: If Mr. Yu was once bullied by his boss, he may see this behavior as a “normal leadership style” and continue the same pattern with Mr. Xu.

4. Personal Bias or Favoritism

Mr. Yu may have personal biases against Mr. Xu due to reasons like gender, age, background, or even office politics. He may favor another employee and deliberately try to push Mr. Xu out. For Example: Mr. Yu wants to promote someone he personally likes, so he mentally harasses Mr. Xu to force him to resign.

5. Lack of Emotional Intelligence

Some people simply do not understand the impact of their words and actions. Mr. Yu may genuinely believe he is “helping” Mr. Xu by pushing him harder, without realizing that he is breaking his confidence. For Example: Mr. Yu thinks being tough will motivate Mr. Xu, but instead, it creates stress and anxiety.

6. Competition and Workplace Politics

If Mr. Yu sees Mr. Xu as a competitor, he may try to eliminate him through mental harassment rather than direct competition. For Example: If Mr. Xu is performing well and is a candidate for promotion, Mr. Yu may undermine him to ensure that he doesn’t advance.

7. Narcissistic Personality

Some individuals enjoy belittling others to make themselves feel superior. Mr. Yu may have a narcissistic personality and derive pleasure from controlling and humiliating subordinates. For Example: Mr. Yu enjoys making Mr. Xu feel small because it boosts his own ego.

Mental harassment is often a reflection of the harasser’s own insecurities and flaws rather than the victim’s shortcomings. Understanding why Mr. Y behaves this way can help Mr. X (or anyone facing such harassment) take strategic steps to protect their confidence, document incidents, and take action.

Step-by-Step Guide to Responding Effectively to Mental Harassment at Work

If you are facing mental harassment at the workplace, it’s crucial to handle it strategically. Reacting impulsively may worsen the situation, but following a structured approach can help you protect yourself, address the issue, and take action if needed.

Step 1: Recognize the Signs of Mental Harassment

Before taking action, make sure you understand that you are actually experiencing mental harassment and not just strict management or constructive feedback. Ask yourself:

• Am I being constantly criticized in an unfair manner?
• Do I feel isolated, belittled, or humiliated?
• Am I given impossible tasks or unrealistic expectations?
• Does my boss or colleague make me doubt my own abilities (gaslighting)?
• Am I being denied promotions, resources, or recognition unfairly?

If the answer to most of these is yes, then you are likely experiencing workplace harassment.

Step 2: Maintain a Record (Documentation is Key!)

Mental harassment is subtle and difficult to prove. That’s why you need to document everything.

📌 Keep a Journal: Note the date, time, and details of each incident.
📌 Save Emails & Messages: If the harasser communicates through email, chat, or any written form, keep copies.
📌 Record Conversations (if legal in your country): If your workplace allows recording, you can use it as evidence.
📌 List Witnesses: If coworkers have seen the harassment, note their names.

This evidence will be critical if you decide to escalate the issue later.

Step 3: Set Boundaries and Assert Yourself

Many bullies back off when they realize their target is not afraid to stand up for themselves. Here’s how to set boundaries:

Respond with Confidence: If your boss criticizes you unfairly, say calmly:
“I appreciate feedback, but I would also like constructive guidance to improve.”

Challenge Unfair Expectations: If overloaded with impossible deadlines, ask:
“Can we prioritize tasks? Completing everything in this timeframe is unrealistic.”

Do Not React Emotionally: Stay composed and don’t show weakness, as harassers often feed off emotional reactions.

Step 4: Seek Support from Colleagues

If you notice that others are also facing similar issues, unite as a team. A group complaint carries more weight than an individual one.

Talk to trusted colleagues – They might have experienced the same treatment.
Gather additional proof – If others have faced similar harassment, it strengthens your case.
Stay professional and don’t gossip – Avoid workplace rumours and handle the issue formally.

Step 5: Report to HR or Management

If the situation does not improve, it’s time to escalate the issue formally.

 Prepare a formal complaint – Write a clear, professional email detailing:

• The nature of the harassment
• Specific incidents with dates
• How it is affecting your performance and well-being
• Any evidence you have (emails, screenshots, witness statements)

Request HR intervention – Ask HR to address the issue professionally.
Be clear about what you want – Do you want mediation, a change of department, or strict action against the harasser?

Step 6: Explore Legal Action (If Necessary & in extreme case)

If HR fails to take action or sides with the harasser, legal action may be required.

Check Workplace Policies: Read your company’s anti-harassment policy and labor laws.
Consult a Lawyer: If the harassment continues, a lawyer can help file a case.
File a Complaint with Authorities: Depending on your country:

• India: Industrial Disputes Act, IPC Sections 503 & 506 (criminal intimidation)
• U.S.: File a complaint with EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission)
• UK: Report under the Equality Act 2010
• Other Countries: Check local labor laws

In my personal opinion, always keep in mind that legal procedures can be time-consuming and emotionally draining. While they provide justice, they also demand a lot of energy, patience, and resources, which can further add to your stress and anxiety.

Instead of immediately pursuing legal action, focus on strengthening your own capabilities—enhance your skills, build new connections, and explore better career opportunities. Sometimes, moving forward and finding a healthier work environment is a more effective and empowering solution than staying in a toxic situation.

However, before leaving the organization, it is essential to file an official complaint with the competent authorities (such as HR, management, or labor boards). This ensures that:

• Your concerns are officially documented.
• The company is held accountable.
• Future employees are protected from facing similar harassment.

Taking this step not only safeguards your dignity but also contributes to creating a more ethical workplace culture.

Step 7: Prioritize Your Mental Well-Being

While fighting workplace harassment, your mental health should not suffer.

Seek Counselling or Therapy – A professional can help you cope with stress.

Stay Active – Exercise, yoga, and meditation can reduce workplace anxiety.

Personal Growth – Learn from this experience and set clear boundaries in your next job.

Step 8: Develop an Exit Plan

If the environment is too toxic, consider switching jobs. An exit plan must be a strategic approach to leave the toxic workplace without compromising your career, finances, or mental well-being. Instead of making a sudden decision in frustration, an exit plan allows you to leave on your own terms—prepared, secure, and with better opportunities ahead.

If you are facing mental harassment at work, an exit plan helps you:

• Avoid financial instability by securing another job first.
• Prevent career gaps by transitioning smoothly to a new role.
• Maintain a good professional reputation instead of quitting impulsively.

Evaluate Your Current Situation

Before making a move, assess how severe the harassment is. Ask yourself:

• Can I tolerate staying a bit longer while planning my exit?
• Is my mental health suffering to the extent that I need to leave immediately?
• Do I have financial stability if I resign today?

This will help you decide whether you need a short-term (quick exit) or long-term (gradual transition) exit plan.

Strengthen Your Resume and Skill Set

To increase your chances of landing a better job, focus on:
Updating Your Resume & LinkedIn Profile – Highlight your achievements and skills.
Learning New Skills – Take online courses or certifications to boost your profile.
Networking – Connect with professionals, recruiters, or former colleagues for job referrals.

Start Job Hunting Discreetly

Begin searching for new opportunities without alerting your employer:
Apply for jobs privately – Avoid using work emails or company devices.
Schedule interviews wisely – Take them outside of office hours or during leave.
Negotiate a better package – Since you’re leaving a toxic environment, aim for a workplace with a healthier culture and fair compensation.

Financial Backup – Save & Plan Expenses

If you don’t have a new job yet, ensure that you have at least 3-6 months of savings to cover your expenses after leaving.
Cut unnecessary expenses to save money.

Plan alternative income sources (freelancing, consulting, or side gigs).

Resign Professionally (Even If the Workplace Was Toxic)

When you are ready to leave:
Write a professional resignation letter – Keep it short and neutral.
Avoid burning bridges – You might need references in the future.
Serve your notice period (if required) – Unless you’re in an extremely harmful situation, try to leave on good terms.

Leaving a toxic workplace is not a sign of weakness—it is an act of self-respect and courage. A well-planned exit ensures that you leave with your dignity, financial stability, and career growth intact.

Final Thoughts

Mental harassment is not your fault, and you don’t have to tolerate it. By following these steps—recognizing, documenting, setting boundaries, seeking support, reporting, and taking legal action (only in extreme case)—you can protect yourself and help create a healthier workplace.

If you are experiencing stress, anxiety, or emotional distress due to workplace harassment, remember that you don’t have to face it alone. Seeking professional guidance can help you navigate the situation with clarity, regain confidence, and develop coping strategies.

At Tathaastu Foundation, our experts provide personalized counseling sessions to:
Help you process your emotions and reduce stress.
Guide you in responding effectively to workplace harassment.
Strengthen your mental resilience and boost self-confidence.
Assist in making informed career decisions.

Taking counseling is not a sign of weakness—it’s an empowering step toward healing and taking charge of your mental well-being.

Feel free to reach out to Tathaastu Foundation for expert support. You deserve a healthy, respectful work environment! 😊

Call for appointment at +91 9711483666

Write us at tathaastufoundation24@gmail.com